But it is reasonable to assume when someone responds to a kindness with the barest of minimum they aren’t doing as well. Actually understanding that makes me sad, but vindicated. Living well isn’t about revenge though. It is about being vindicated and humbled, both at the same time. Bittersweet.
To anyone whose pictures, links or blogs I’ve put in here from the internet, if there has been no identification of yours to establish it as solely owned property I’m assuming there is no copyright. If there is something on the picture, link or blog establishing it as your creation, then please assume my posting here is free advertising for you and that this blog is driving people to your work as well. If you don’t wish what is on the internet to be associated with this blog feel free to contact me, telling me which chapter the solely owned property is located and I will immediately remove it for you. If you are one of the predators who have harmed me, know that establishing what you have done through evidence is underway and you have no right to stop me from telling my story in fact. You’re welcome.
I think its hard for some people around us, too, because what they are seeing makes them afraid too. And if they like us they don’t want to get attached because its obvious we are going down. The reality that we are being taken down by a well orchestrated system that’s in place to take any one of us down at any time it wishes it horrifying. Just the idea of it is traumatic. I see people being traumatized over far less, and yet look at how terrible this psycho system will go for beating us down. They are not supposed to put their hands on us. That they did tells you how strong I have been, and that the way I’ve been handling it has been good even while I was on auto pilot. It’s all been done in the name of the Lord, too. This will be to God’s glory. Amen.
No weapon formed.
The good news is that the information I need to establish the need to be protected by the predators is on the way.
It is right now to me the most critical of the information because it establishes the intent to harm me and the importance of that I should have been being protected by the when I made reports and was asking for help.
Its these things that makes us wonder why we are even paying those people. It is during this process of documenting this and being able to get my fingers on it all that makes me glad we do pay some of them. Because without their documentation there is no way I could be doing this, there is no way while we are dealing with the onslaught of being targeted that we can hold onto the evidence. And being human, sometimes I would become so frightened I would tear up some of the evidence I was holding onto. I just wanted them to go away, and they would not. Also I wanted to help, but there was nobody who could give it. Truly, I had to do this myself.
It was me, my Mom and God against the devil’s demons. Now the system is helping me prove the demons were not my own but were the projections of an old coot’s and lies.
RIP RICK & MISTY.
Although its not perfect, because few are, I’m amazing at how keen my memory is of remember dates and events. Also I realize just how messed up I was because someone asked the address of one of the places I was sent to or what town it was in and I do not even know. Meaning, the hospital sent me somewhere by ambulance and I have no idea where that was except for the memory of it and its name written in my coloring book that I was drawing in to keep myself balanced. Wow! That I’ve lived still blows my mind. To be able to document it through the paper trail is the right thing to do. I think people, the corporations have been lying about us for a long time.
When I share the part of my story with the person on the other end of the phone who is helping me gather that particular information they seemed shocked. They are shocked just hearing it. Can you imagine the shock of going through it? Can you imagine the shock of making it through alive and able to tell?
Someone told me a while back the title “I Was Supposed To Die” seems rather…..uninviting. I think that may be true. And it seems to me to be kind of self centered and whiny too. Bland, boring and an attempt at being overly dramatic, too. I think naming this blog happened even before I found out about Rick and Misty. Well, yes it was.
So the title is what it is, and I think that I authored it under Psychotropic Recovery is becoming meaningful and true to what the focus has been. I suppose “recovery” is what I’ve been hoping and praying for all along. Well of course it was. So if anyone tries to tell you that I’m negative or that I’m a pessimist, this blog is positive proof they are wrong.
RIP RICK & MISTY.
The new friend has offered his apologies for being so brash while he’s not understood it all. Well for those who know, this whole ordeal has been going on since what I’ve already written on the page of the author (Psychotropic Recovery.) I guess when I first got onto WordPress I wasn’t sure how to use it and also I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be known. It is that anonymity the new friend thought I ought to retain. But that cat has been out of the bag for a long time.
Anyway, Facebook shared its memory with me written shortly before I was shown CBDs through Kannaway in 2014. It was the year before that my kidneys had been showing signs of problems that would eventually mean dialysis. That was because of being given lithium carbonate (by choice) and I chose it over the Seroquel and other drugs the doctor at Fairfax offered me. It was my opinion stepping into accepting the lithium carbonate was my only option. For those who are catching up, I was i Fairfax after twice having tried to kill myself in Nov. 2012 by overdosing on Ativan and downing that with bottles of wine. The attempts failed, and that is how I landed in Fairfax. Fairfax was a blessing even though they were operating under the impression I was bi polar or worse.
As I look back upon that now what is obvious is that “they” are dumping those drugs into people, and anymore the younger they can start us the better for them, so that their business is spent managing the effects of those drugs. Wow. Because when I look back also I realize ever since the doctor started dumping them into me I have been in and out of hospitals with my life totally out of control and my own being totally confused by it all.
I do hear some people don’t experience the confusion. I really can’t speak to that and can only say if one of the primary and reliable effects of the drugs is confusion……..uh, how do you really know? But who am I to judge? Maybe happiness can be found in the bottom of a bottle of Quietiapine. As for me, that made my legs have problems, and the sleep wasn’t good with that either. Oh yah, I’ve been up and down that gamut since the great drug deal of my life started.
So back in 2013 when my kidneys began showing signs of problems I quit the lithium carbonate and found lithium orotate, which Dr. Jonathan Wright of the Tahoma Clinic highly recommends for dementia prevention and more. I no longer take the lithium because I am pretty close to back to “normal.” This of course is exciting. Then in 2014, shortly after the Facebook memory I’m going to share, I found cannabinoids from hemp that were wonderful. I cannot afford them anymore because the psych drug experiences put me into poverty. Thank you Multicare. So now I try to keep a bottle of hemp oils in the fridge. But really I don’t “need” that either. What I’ve needed is the rest I’ve gotten, and I am finally feeling pretty good. Lulu told me about Omega 6, then while shopping for it at the grocer’s the stocking person told me about Omega 3. I did the research and have found that for me its been just the ticket. But because I’m so old now I still need a lot of sleep. When all of this started against me I was 49. Now I am almost 63.
The posting I’m sharing I would call an epiphany. But according to the calendar it was Lenten season. Lent 2004 began on Wednesday, February 25 and ended on Thursday, April 8. The date Teresa took me to church with her, the day being referred to in the memory from Facebook was April 4, 2004. Sometimes when I think of all the terrible things that were done to me after that day I become afraid, kind of like when Kevin Boileau said last week he is going to stop in Ohio and it is starting to seem like that might be true. I hope it isn’t true, though, and his former friends are right that he’s too lazy. Although he never seemed lazy to me and he did seem to like long road trips. Who knows?
It was ten years ago the Sunday before Easter when Jesus showed himself to me. After that many, many unimaginable and horrifically over the top events occurred in my life that few humans could handle even just one of them. I know this because people tell me so. Looking back even I am amazed at how I’ve survived. And that every day I am better and better, more recovered. It is almost mine and Jesus’ 10th anniversary together. Amazing love.
“I was glad when they said unto me, LET US GO INTO THE HOUSE OF THE LORD. Our feet shall stand within thy gates, O Jerusalem.” (Psalm 122:1-2.)
(Isaiah 40.29-31): “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Through a social group a new person has become a “friend.” He has been “trying” really hard to understand my problems. What he’s thinks is that I was being seen for psychiatric problems. I’m not sure where he is getting that idea. But also what he’s doing is demanding I show him the proof of what I am lashing out about through this blog. I’m really not taking him very seriously because, well, I can’t get my head around what he is missing.
At any rate I am compelled to state very clearly I was never being seen for psychiatric problems and furthermore I’ve not no history of “mental health issues.” Additionally, since the Ambien episode of not sleeping for over 19 days and night in February 2005 I have been in and out of the hospital too many times to count.
The condensed version of this blog, for the impatient, is that you will have to be patient. Because the documentation IS coming in now that the learning curve is over.
If anyone is able to donate to help cover the costs the paypal account is available or you can message me to make other arrangements.
But, as for me, before Quackaroo blew my mind with psych drugs I was not ever seeing anyone due to psychiatric problems. Furthermore Quackaroo, like most who are prescribing the crap, are not even qualified. I really do think that’s been made clear here, and this new “friend” is a bullshitter.
Yesterday was a very amazing and productive day. It felt like my first day of actual working, I mean the kind of work I used to do that requires a variety of applications and skills. I was going to say it felt like the first day I’ve actually worked in a long time. But I guess that isn’t true because recovering from what those animals have done has taken a great amount of exhausting work because I have been blazing new trails. I mean, I was supposed to die. Having not has been a LOT of work. Watching my career taken down the tubes in a field where one’s reputation is everything was horribly stressful. Watching the companies’ managements short sheet my paychecks was also horribly stressful. Seriously, I wasn’t receiving the agreed upon income and I was put into a position where to get it I’d have to fight for it. Ordinarily that wouldn’t be too hard. But considering suddenly an additional 60 miles was added onto my commute in a job that already required me to be on the road all of most day, and considering I was dealing with cancer and EPIS trying to put me in jail, among many other things, come on! Not getting paid and being expected to fight for it, during the process the bills don’t get paid. Its sickening.
But now starting to physically improve every day to be able to think straight again while pulling together the documentation to build the story through evidence is very uplifting. I can only believe that after having been being beaten down for so long this change in the atmosphere is going to continue doing wonders. It seems as though I’m being asked to do God’s work, as if now I am his hands and feet instead of being made to work with the devil the way it came to be in real estate finance. And maybe some people will think my seeing it this way is weird or just my imagination but it is a fact the evil in the office I worked in during 2010/2011 in Bellevue was so think literally I was go to my knees in prayer. I’m not saying that to cut the people who worked there, but it was what it was.
As far as Multicare vs Judy is concerned it appears that yesterday I received a great break through, and I’m being connected with people who can get things done. The costs for the records is going to be a lot for me, so to be able to buy the transcripts will take me about 4 or 5 months. When I get them I’ll be able to post here excerpts that will be proof of what I’ve been telling you all. I’m excited and I know exactly where to go in the transcripts to find the testimony and evidence.
About Kevin, I’m hearing he’s perplexed about the hysteria I expressed of his saying they will be stopping in Ohio. Its very hard to believe he didn’t expect that when he said it. Whatever it is that is perplexing him maybe Nazarita will be able to make him understand, although none of us really believes he wants to right?
Maybe later I’ll talk more about it but honestly I think from this point forward he needs to figure that out for himself, if its at all possible. I suppose the reality would be hard. I hope he figures it out though because I think if he does the Grinch’s heart will grow 3 times that day. As it is I’m just chuckling over my own reactive expressions. Earlier this evening I started singing Brother Loves Traveling Salvation Show to myself, and I started cracking up. To be sure, how I’ve reacted has made me like myself very much. Its nice to read my first reaction was having an optimistic heart, even it is was a totally unrealistic perspective. But that’s my heart. I really do prefer thinking the best of people. Even I want to think the best of Kevin. Yet as the reality settled in over who he is, what he did to me, as I moved through the trauma of knowing and having it settle in yet again that can be seen in the subsequent chapters.
That cycle used to process in great length. Meaning, I’d be in this weird state of disbelief, and shock. Now when I look back I’m sure that is what I was experiencing, and I continued in that frame of mind for a long time. Even more, looking back I can see that keeping myself in that frame of mind is how I got through it. It doesn’t matter to me that Kevin didn’t like how I was responding. I am only glad I was able to respond in a way that kept me propped up. I think it was that imagination, my desire to not face the reality of the evil he’d done, that did it for me.
When I was able to manage getting out of the State of Washington after having lost almost everything only then could I factually being to digest the magnitude of the evil those people put onto me. That would be up to and including people like Katy Reischling of Absolute Loans. The number of people who were embracing hate towards me as reasons to rip me off was just incredible. Yes, indeed, now that I’ve lived I’ll be the hands and feet for exposing it all. And not to be their judge, either, but for them to be judged. That Pinnacle/Absolute returned over $23,000 in my commission to the investor is something I might still pursue. There is so much to pursue. Losing that commission cost me a lot.
But, about Kevin’s perplexity towards my hysteria, I can see exactly what’s going on there. Its very much the game of playing innocence that I’m sure is another commonality with the Multicare crowd. I mean, they were just a bunch of old coots having fun, right? They didn’t really mean any harm, right? They just didn’t understand what they were doing, that’s all. They simply cannot understand what was wrong with me. Well, as the documentation is arriving from all over they will be finding out, won’t they? I think you are going to be shocked. Because things are coming out that I’ve never even written about here because its been so much that I haven’t been able to cover it all. But soon enough it will all be put into chronological book form. Then there will be no more claiming innocence by any of them. This documentation will include about what Kevin did. Start to finish. 2004 – at least 2015.
*I would like to thank the people who have been donating. And I hope if you are unable to please share with people who might. If anyone does not want to donate through paypal they can privately message me. I am able to receive messages here without making them public. From here anyone can arrange with me to send checks or by whatever other means they have to help. I’ve expecting the costs of the Multicare vs Judy transcripts may be around $500 or $600. And for all the work I’ve done, I have not had a paycheck since August 2015, and I have not had a decent paycheck since March 2011. Its been very hard, and I think what I’m sharing is valuable and simple to understand. Please help me cover the costs. No amount is too small.
obtaining it is becoming easier than I thought.
It appears my book has been writing itself, which is great.